Shell's stories, truths, & poetry

Favorites

• Purgatory, a depressing state of suffering.  Stranded for an undisclosed extent of time. Then again, the interval is the real punishment, not the condition itself. A person could accept the situation, if only time would cease to tally the fragments of heartache. Yet time, it does count every single piece. It’s the real reason those stranded in desolation descend farther into an abyss without the chance of escaping. Time reminds those in emotional limbo everything in the universe keeps going without a second glance at your pain. Everything progresses, moves on. Everything except you. Watching the world continue while quicksand holds fast and wrenches with fierceness. A counterfeit smile is posed. A sad attempt at pretend, convincing others it's not inevitable to drown. For its unbearable if anyone identifies the extent of the agony. An actor emerges from the depths of misery with an angelic expression. Pity is a loathsome excuse to trouble a friend. It’s essential to cope with an escape and not the take down others. This chaos is impossible for anyone else to understand anyway. Isolation, loneliness, bitterness, sorrow. All part of a recipe to mix the perfect cocktail of self-destruction. What a beautiful disintegration it could be, if only it wasn't in that one, dismal place; purgatory. No one wants to be deserted nowhere. Yet somehow all end up there at least once in a lifetime. Most abscond, then there are those tricked into believing they’ve made it out, yet soon come to realize the escape was all an illusion. Illustrations created by brilliant artists with limitless imaginations. One masterpiece after another drawing you in every time. Crafting the belief, this is it; the happy ending. Yet patience holds fast, only to have the cruelality of time shatter the beautiful illusion into a million tiny pieces that'll take an eternity to put back together.  
•     It’s been awhile. Since we’ve been together, Sharing, Confessing, Granting courage to trust the other with secretes that possesses one’s soul If only someone could get close enough, like you, like me Understanding is a gift compelled by hands of deity Your creator             Or is it dictator? After all it is I who calls upon the likes of you Forcing an audience without any allowances of prejudice I have missed you The calm begets as senses let loose Righting all the wrongs in days’ past A righteous do-over Spewing away the pain when the physical is no more Stains recedes, it’s the intellectual who suffers   Plagued with heavy burdens that holds fast Too strong You’re my only hope My solitude My savior Anguish clutches at times despair becomes truth, Relinquished by sin Disclaimed by abandonment Bonded by anger Screaming in silence, coveting tranquility No one knows otherwise All's sought is a smile besieged with loneliness Misery awaits those like me, like you Emptiness is a black hole, camouflaged like quicksand,             Cursed Terrified to die alone, you pacify by performing as instructed Always now, Always nearby Even though it has been a while                                  
•       Of all the earthy things that twist and bend the truth of fancy delight                are not of destinies dupe Sometimes the simplest of pleasures comes not from monetary gains                but of hearts filled with love Wonders never cease only because the wicked command them to do so,                if only for the sake of forgiveness Can eyes shut so tightly, ever be opened once more? Oh pray, tell the world how wronged you are when beholding glorious majesties! Truths are a verification of grace and blessings held to the dearest sentiment                and nothing as justification of the soul Wit is evil as beauty is superficial                and never lasting long enough For those who see through the façade,                are truly sanctified!  
• Bred a life of loneliness and despair Hands woven since touch is meaningless Shadows casts darkness that blinds Covering thine eyes  Hidden away is the destruction of Canvasses once beautifully marked my stains of nativities blood Have you no heart? Oh impossible rouge, betrayal of all the world You must find such trivial ramblings amusing Mock me not, sir  For I shall stage the final opus
• Venomous words flow from viper’s tongues Without regards of who’s listening Fed up with the courtesies of life Conjoined in hatred of the humble Or at least those pretenders of guiltlessness Betrayed by the world that has taken all Given only in return a shattered heart,           a broken soul Appearances marked by cynicism instead of age and held in contempt while embracing damnation So little hope in a time of wonder At an age of discovery,           befits despair
•   So lost in nothingness, her shine is gone Set on a mantel, forgotten ignored Twice in one lifetime, put aside Left alone Trophies are covetable, if only they remain perfect But youth and beauty fades, making her no longer worthy Love becomes non-existent, she's solely creature of convenience Money, stability, for anything but love As she's no longer worthy Too young to settle for it, too old to know better Burdened by reason Trapped by responsibility Trophies are covetable, if only they remain perfect
• Heaviness crushes as souls are drawn down while burdens of time weighs excessively Unable to ascertain answers that hide in shadows paralyzed by the unknown As if drugged under the aegis of sorrow, dying in the name of pain Breaths embellished with gravity full of modest cinders that burn too much Succombing to fate only to be beaten down by it Sleep now, Forever    
• It's unknown,  what to do.  The world is so ugly now, all ugly.  This torment won't go away. Focusing on the beautiful and happy isn't possible when there's only pain from loneliness.  No matter what's done, how much is given,  nothing helps. It only gets worse with each passing year. Stranded and unloved. The one bonded is incapable of loving anyone.  Crave love, touching, closeness; receives none, slowly kills. There's barely anything left of the person once a known by a smile.  Allowed to be crushed and ruined. Reasoning to sacrifice youth for the greater good, not an entire soul. Now there's nothing left to give.  It's all been cruelly taken. If only a way to say goodbye and leave this dread forever.  Give in, if just to make the pain go away. But it wouldn't and it won't as the ties that bind are stronger. Can emotions become completely nothing? Never to feel anything again?  Spirit is already irrelevant, what harm would come by one person unable to feel. Unable to hurt. Unable to care. Unable to love. To roam indiscriminately, without the pain of being discarded and unwanted.
• Daughter, Sister, Mother; Great and Grand. Among the angel's, With your palm in God's hand. Watching patiently, You'll guide us with your love. Your light forever shines, In the stars above. The day will soon come, When we will meet again. Briefly separated, However, this is not the end. Nor is this our goodbye, But see you soon enough. When it is our time, To You we will rise up.
• For the love of the sea says I, rolling waves testing time. Drift afar to who knows where, dare we not capture a stare. Queer we be in the land of not, feted to start later forgot. Long the voyage aged laid rest, treasure abets at end no less.    
• If you’re a history buff than you can appreciate the work that goes into researching a family lineage. We say genealogy is hobby. On the contrary, after ten years I've come to realize that it's an obsession. Delving into the unknown and uncovering all of those family secrets is sometimes more captivating than watching a major motion picture. And if you are as curious as I am, the more you discover about those long since gone, the more you’re driven to uncover the next mystery. Here are some idea’s to help get you started: No matter what your intent is, serious discovery of your ancestry or just wanting to find out Grandpa Blackie’s real name, know your genealogy terminology. Knowing the difference between a pedigree chart and a family group sheet will make the process a lot easier. Start with what you know. Fill out your chart starting with you and your immediate family, then your parents, and finally your grandparents. Ask a lot of questions and write everything down or use a voice recording device then document. After you exhaust your resources from grandparents on down, it’s time for the real work to being. When making inquiries about deceased relatives, make certain to ask for birth dates, birth places, death dates, death places, parent’s names, interesting stories, and photographs. Collect obituaries! They are a goldmine because of all the valuable information listed in them such as the names of living family members you could contact for information. Create files either electronically or manually, I do both, to store the information you have retrieved and for fact checking. I suggest a file for each surname with a master pedigree chart to keep families organized.  Start a public online family tree. There are several websites that offer services; some are free while others charge. You can google genealogy sites to find many available. Ancestry.com is just one that has a free service for newbie’s and they offer a free two-week full access trial membership, remember to manually cancel if you don’t want it. Findagrave.com is also useful because the web pages have a wealth of information including photos. You'll be amazed at how many notifications you receive about your ancestors once your information goes public. There are many ways to collect this information and whether you are just starting your journey, or have been at it for years, it can seem overwhelming at times. The point of starting a lineage chart is to have fun while discovering where you’ve come from. If you begin to get frustrated or you haven’t eaten nor showered in a week, yes it can happen, take a break to get yourself put back together. The great thing about genealogy is that it never ends. There will always be something new to uncover. For example, the US Federal Census Bureau is releasing the census records from 1940 on April 2nd. There will be about 130 million new family connections available waiting for you to discover.