So here I am having dinner at a restaurant and I over hear this young woman behind me talking about how her parents nearly ruined her wedding. Listening to her for about twenty minutes I discover that the parents had a bad divorce, as if anyone can have a nice one, and they don’t communicate at all. Whatever happened between these two people was not pleasant and unfortunately the ill will that still lingered between them filters down to their adult daughter.
Even though there was no arguing, the woman stated that every moment with them together was almost unbearable as the bitterness was so obvious. At first the photographer had taken some pictures of her with each of them separately, and then took some with them all together. She said that it was such an uncomfortable and awkward moment that she came very close to asking the photographer to stop taking photo’s and just about asked her parents to leave.
This leaves me with my predicament as I too have a terrible and toxic relationship with my mentally ill ex-husband. We share a beautiful daughter together and I am concerned that Izabella is going to have these same problems. I can’t even stand that notion of texting or emailing him, let alone being in the same space he is occupying. At the moment, Izabella is nine years old but someday she is going to have events in her life that we both will be required to partake in and I do not want to ruin those precious moments for her. However, I don’t believe that I am capable to have any kind of relationship with him and I definitely don’t know where to even begin.
We say that we will do anything for our kids to make sure their safe, educated, and happy. I certainly do not want to be the one responsible for sabotaging those memorable times in Izabella’s life. Somehow I am going to have to find the answers to better myself and be able to tolerate him. A decade from now, I do not want my daughter sitting in a restaurant on the verge of tears explaining to a friend about how her parents nearly ruined what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.
Shell de Toni 