Today I was told that my aspirations of becoming a professional writer are nothing but a dream and if I chose to keep pursuing this as a career the caring of my children won’t be proficient. And I shouldn’t have decided to marry a man with kids because my goals are far to time-consuming. As much of a slap in the face this was, it really shouldn’t have surprised or affected me as much as it did. Every author I have met all told me that no one will understand or support the crazy desires we have to be published. I’m not sure why I thought this did not apply to me, but this afternoon I learned the hard way that I am not immune to such harsh criticism.
I’ve heard most of my life that I would never amount to anything because of where I come from and who I’ve been raised by. My own grandfather told my mother I would end up pregnant before I saw my senior year in high school therefore, I’d be a dropout. Most others figured I would end up just like her, lying and cheating my way through life. I proved them all wrong; not only did I not end up a pregnant teen, I graduated high school, and I am nothing like my mother. Although, I have to value the woman’s opinion of me because she is the only person who has ever told me that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to as long as I work hard for it and in no way let someone convince me that I can’t.
For years I supported others and stood for their success standing in the shadows waiting for my time. Well my time never came. It never came because I didn’t pursue any of the opportunities that were laid out before me. There’s a hard lesson that I have learned over the last twenty-five years, you are the only one who can set and reach your goals. Nothing is easy and you have to bust your butt to get things done because no one is going to care what you want to do with your life until you go against the grain. So what if others consider your ambition a pipe dream, success cannot be achieved if you never even try in the first place.
Shell de Toni 