From the moment I realized she was growing inside of me, I experienced love like a blind man seeing for the first time. I could completely comprehend the true meaning of the word. Something filled my heart when, as far as I was concerned, it was already full and in one harsh reality I realized my heart was not even close to its capacity. The instinct to protect the hard spot on my lower abdomen was so intense I find it hard to describe, but I knew that there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t endure to make absolute certain of its safety.
It was a shocking surprise to find out I was eleven weeks when I went to my first doctor’s appointment, I figured I was less than a month and there I was nearly out of my first trimester. Another awesome surprise while we were there was my doctor did my first ultra sound. There are no words for the emotions that flooded through me as I saw my baby for the first time, which then resembled the shape of a kidney bean. I saw her brain, the holes where her eyes would be, four pods that would grow into limbs, and her heart that was beating. Then I heard it, the sound of my baby’s heart and it is the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard or will ever hear.
As she grew it came more pronounced to me that she was a mover and a shaker. Non-stop there was an elbow here or bottom of a foot there but not once did she kick me in the ribs. I heard horror stories about baby’s actually bruising ribs or making you pee your pants, something my little one never did. As she stuck out an appendage I would play with her by gently tickling the area or patting it down. This must have excited her because she would move all the more as if enticing me to do it again. I envisioned a big smile on her face as we played our game.
Every day I would talk to her as if she could understand everything that I had to say. When I slept, I cradled her holding my belly so tight she had to have known that it was me who was protecting her. Crazy as it sounds, when she was born I wasn’t ready for her to be out of the safe confines of my body. I would have been happy to have her in me for another four weeks. Unfortunately, that little turkey had other plans.
Saturday morning, at thirty-six weeks, I woke up feeling absolutely horrible. My feet, back, and muscles in my tummy ached so badly I was crying most of the day and my boss sent me home from work. When I got home my husband had to take my shoes off, because I could not bend over to do so. Then I took a long four-hour nap. I should have known something was off because she never let me lie down and sleep so soundly, but that day she barely moved at all. I just assumed it was because there was little room in there for her and the Braxton-hicks contractions had to have squashed her.
Little did I know that I was not in false labor as I was the weekend prior. After dinner I went over to my in-laws for some comfort and relaxation since her father and I had fought most of the evening. The contractions were so hard that my thirteen year old sister-in-law noticed my bulge shrinking to literally half of its normal size. Freaking out she pointed and asked, “What is wrong with your tummy?”
As uncomfortable as I was, I just laughed as I watch her eyes widen every time I had another contraction. Believe it or not, it never occurred to me that I had been in labor all day until IT happened. Sitting there minding my business I suddenly felt my baby drop and a warm sensation in my underpants.
I stood up quickly yelling, “Oh no! I just peed my pants.” Then I heard a loud pop and to my dismay my water broke all over the couch and the floor. Now for those who have not experienced the pleasure of ruining someone’s couch and carpet; when your water breaks it gushes and splashes everywhere as if an extra-large water balloon had dropped.
From day one, without doing anything in particular at all, my daughter is the love of my life. This is the true definition of unconditional love and no one can break that bond that was created in my womb ten years ago. Some have tried, always with fail.