Fooling all as I begat from the mother of lies, master at my deception until all collapses without forewarning.
Sinking so far I’m incapable of identifying normality again, yet desire courses through my veins like acid scorching what was once living.
Is it pain keeping me alive? No. It’s a cruel joke that forces air into my lungs. A reflex that ought to be unnatural to the body, nonetheless alien to the mind delivering me into wickedness.
Or is this my descendent into madness? No answers for questions lost on deaf ears. My voice is silenced by my persuasion.
Attitude runs amuck then I’m chastised for it, saddened by consequence. Left with nothing, residing in isolation.
It hurts. The loneliness I’m exiled to, not understanding the why’s. Still, here I am to dwell in solitude.
Again, antics flow like water and no one is wiser of the difference. As if anyone aspires as long as I have.
At hand lies the problem. Full refusal of all regulation as I wish not to be controlled, but long for love. Someone must exist whose up for the task. Thus far, paralyzed by fear because there is no such character.
And there it is. Simplicity at its best. Love won’t intervene as I am no longer worthy of its possession.
Perhaps the amount acquired was my limit. Left broken with no hope of repair and not deserving of such.
Persecuted and bound in emptiness. Stranded in a moment of time, reaching for help with not another soul created for my salvation.
Trudging on while continuing to suffer since the better part of me died long ago leaving me forlorn with only bittersweet memories.