Circumstance allows very few people to live here in this dimension as anchors for others. These individuals hold down some of us so we don’t lose it and go completely insane. But what are we supposed to do when those we’re bonded to are no longer among us? What are we to do as they leave this plane of existence to join the all mighty in celebration of their corporeal departure?
I’ve been told that death should be celebrated as a wonderful gift bestowed upon the deceased as they are rejoicing in heaven held in Jesus arms. Comforted for all eternity and never to contend with disappointment or heartache again. Although this statement makes total and complete sense, every fiber of my being screams in pain at the notion of losing this one person. Someone who I have always been destined to lose, yet I cannot bear the thought of her no longer being in my life.
The thought alone is agony as my apprehension tortures me when rational assumptions are provoked. So much affliction to endure and it’s all because of the inevitable. I know this. I understand this. And as much as this way of thinking pains me, I find that I would never wish to allot this agony on any other living creature on my behalf. Especially the one who so firmly holds me to this reality. Only to be my fastener for an allotted piece of time until it suits me no longer. Selfish? Yes, without question. Who can deny those in which they are attached? If only you could be a better person than I, than go. For my shortcomings are just that. Short, bitter, and neglected. She makes me big, pleasant, and nurtured. Getting all the credit where credit is most definitely due.The amount of time given to us to love one another is so limited and we take it for granted every day. And every day we are held back from our loved ones. Forced to keep them at arm’s length as if life isn’t cruel enough. Longing to be with those you love and who love you most, abandoned by time as one is stuck in quicksand. Or so it seems.
Those who support and hold everyone else from descending into madness truly do not have a clue of the impact they have on our lives. They are not just passer-byers in a world that no longer wishes them to reside in, but behold the true meaning of the gift of life. I very much need this person just as much as I need air to breath.
There you have it. The irony of all ironies.
Life’s sustained by three elements not four. Air, water, and food. The torment of it is, life can move on without unconditional love. And I am just not ready for that.