Time goes by so quick and yet I’m stranded in a moment of it as if trapped in an eternal loop of despair. Anchored by the past leaving me unable to move forward, so I struggle through each day anticipating its defeat as the hour of darkness casts its shadow upon me. Each evening I’m abandoned by the protection of daylight, encased in loneliness and left to dwell within scarred and tormented thoughts.
This has been the norm of my existence, if that’s what you want to call it, for some time now. Emotionally crippled, I master the art of pretend. Acting normal when I’m in the presence of others and putting off breaking down for when I’m alone. And alone I am left with the question of why. It appears I am the butt end of the cruelest joke God has dispensed.
There are those who believe that their sole purpose in life is to watch over me to make sure that I keep breathing, so to speak. What they do not realize is that breathing hurts. Every breath acquired into my lungs burns like acid. I want to scream with all of my might until someone puts me out of my misery. Instead, any ounce of pain shown makes them want to help all the more.
There are too many pieces of my broken heart to ever be put back together again. My soul is tortured and silent screams echo in my ears that drown out all logic.