Tag: Family
Office Bio of the Month – Love Is
LOVE ~ “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth
all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:7
With the charisma of an American sweetheart, there are many admiring comments that can be said about Jeannie Tinges. She’s smart, kind, funny, and an all-around beautiful person, inside and out.
Being from Lake Oswego, Oregon, it’s no surprise just how laid-back she is and how easy it is getting to know her.
First and foremost, Jeannie loves her family. Married with two children, 2017 has proven to be an exciting year for the Tinges.
In September she celebrated her 34th wedding anniversary with her “Teddy Spaghetti.” It was clear to the couple, a camping trip suited them best for such an occasion. Packed up with the necessities, including their two adorable puppies, Olive and Snickerdoodle, they drove to Stanley Lake towing their RV trailer they purchased earlier this year.
Located in Custer County, Idaho on the Salmon River, Jeannie & Ted spent a lot of time in the Stanley area hiking and fishing. “It was GORGEOUS! We really had a fabulous time! It is now our favorite place! Probably the best summer yet!”
Another special event took place on July 7th, when her son, Justin married his beautiful bride, Katelyn. Of course, the date, 7/7/17 was no coincidence. 
The wedding was celebrated at Jeannie’s parents beach property in Rockaway Beach, Oregon. “What a beautiful day to get married. Grandma and papas house was the perfect spot!”
Jeannie’s 27-year-old daughter, Clare, recently earned her Master’s Degree in Film Editing and recently moved to California pursuing her film career. “I’m so proud of both of them.”
No matter where you are, family is precious and important and no one appreciates that better than Jeannie, “Family isn’t the most important thing, family is everything.” ~Michael J. Fox
Interesting facts about Jeannie Tinges:
She was baptized in the Jordan River, June 2013. Christians around the world visit and are baptized here believing this is the sacred and religious site where John the Baptist baptized Jesus.
Nordstrom’s cosmetic department was her place of employment for fifteen years. It’s no wonder Jeannie looks amazing – she has inside tricks of the trade as well as full access to the products!
For State Farm Insurance, she was licensed in life, health, auto, and fire as well as sold mortgage and auto loans. We can only envision her educating customers about insurance products and helping our community deal with life’s unforeseen possibilities of the unexpected.
One of her favorite things to do is loving on her two adorable puppies, Olive & Snickerdoodle. “Ted named Snickers. I wanted either Opal or Martini!”
Almost daily, she walks and plays with these two auspicious pups. How lucky are they to call Jeannie and Ted their humans!
All in all, it’s not at all surprising Jeannie Tinges is our office bio of the month! Her integrity speaks for itself; Doing the right thing even when no one watching, putting others before herself, and being honest.
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Children Coping With Grief
“Life asked death, ‘Why do people love me but hate you?’ Death responded, ‘Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.”
—Author unknown
Death, the inevitable fate of all life.
Everyone manages grief in their own way. For a child, the devastation of such a catastrophic event can forever alter perceptions of their reality.
Children are so emotionally dependent upon those who are closest to them, it’s impossible to acknowledge life without those people. Yet acceptance is a fine line.
The younger the child, the easier it is to accept the loss. It isn’t that the child doesn’t care, it simply isn’t possible for those under the age of four to understand the concept of death. A toddlers’ reaction to the death of a loved one is based on his or her surroundings. Any changes within in a home with children are more complicated due to the disruption of their routine.
It’s important to keep your explanation simple, to the point. The dead aren’t hungry, cold, or tired. They are simply gone. If religion is part of your life, explain the passing like crossing a bridge or flying up to heaven. There isn’t a need to be dramatic or embellish. Answer questions the best you can, and remember the importance of being nonjudgmental. Your little one doesn’t have your life experience.
Older more mature children are likely to perceive death as it is; the permanent departure from who they love and care for.
It’s hard for them to muddle through the sorrow and pain. They become terrified of losing everyone and might attempt to withdraw or revert, becoming demanding and needy. Hold your ground and remain supportive by encouraging them to express their feelings. Help them develop healthy coping mechanisms to get them through their grieving process. Consider seeking professional help.
“The unmarred innocence of a child is a temporary veil of protection that every mother begs God to preserve, always”. ~Shell DeToni
Below is one of many letters written by a child searching for answers while trying to make sense of a life that had been turned upside down by the death of a loved one. She blames herself for how this tragic event has tore her family apart. The child’s lack of life experience simply makes it impossible for her to comprehend the simple fact that one cannot be held accountable for other people’s choices, nor is she responsible for those affected by the decisions other’s have.
It was her first experienced with death and while time has been kind, her lamentation has yet to be concluded. Perhaps someday, that blessing will be meant for her. Nonetheless, acceptance looms nearby.
Hi gramma. It’s been a year now since I’ve talked to you. I know you won’t reply back, but I just really miss you so I wanted to say I love you. Every day I’m gonna be silly and childish thinking that you will respond, but in fact, I know deep down inside, that you won’t. I just really miss you. I wish you could come back. Because you’re gone, dad is getting worse, and the family is also. I keep listening to songs that remind me of you. Music is the biggest escape in life. I’ve noticed that you don’t have any pictures of me. Sometimes I get mad at you because I make myself think that I’m not really important and I get really jealous of the other kids because you played with them more when in reality, they will hardly or not at all remember you and I will remember you forever. I get really upset with myself for being mad at you. I don’t like it when I am. I made a note for you. It’s only three words though. I didn’t give it to you because I forgot to. I’m such an idiot. I hate forgetting things. Because of my stupid head, I forget a lot of things. I forget the good times, but remember the bad. I miss you too much gramma. I want you back. If I could take every single one of my tears your loss has brought me, I bet I could build a staircase to heaven with them so I could see you. I wish I could come and see you. Or at least call you for one last time, so I could hear your voice and your laugh again. I know I’m not the most important person in your life but I still miss you and cry almost every night for you. I just love you so much. I’m even crying right now as I type this. I’m trying not to wake everyone up. I just really miss you. Sorry this note was so long. I just wanted to get my feelings out to you. Well, I love you and miss you. Bye.
Grief has bonded the child’s innocence to this moment forever, yet love will someday grant her serenity. Children are easily distracted and might show behavior suggesting they’ve moved on as if they have accepted the lessons of finality. Weather it be they forget or they move on, time truly is the magical remedy for grief.
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BETRAYED AND REJECTED
The decade has been waisted
Times cruel touch grasp heavily,
sure to crush the will to live
Today, there’s no sense to make,
as pain poisons all logic
Brutal are the hands that wound,
and violently kills love
Damaged, broken, the brides mocked
a whore labeled unworthy
Children question the why’s
without answers presented
Assumptions deem her useless
disposable, deserving
Hands meant to protect, heal, love
merely offend with a strike
Uncaring notions at best
concerning a lifelong vow
Vows meant nothing from cold lips
emotionless, without care
Sacrificed everything
for nothing but selfish gains
Taking down everyone
without consideration
While labeling the bride, whore
a beaten down, foul, whore
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Reflections From the Disheartened
There are moments in life that change you forever; define you, indefinitely. Sure, wounds heal, but just as the old saying goes, “The scars remain.”
For some, the most definitive moment that has forever altered life’s reality is when the person they loved and trusted most unleashed their aggression and hit them. This life changing event is so horrible it turns air into acid, burning a hole in your chest. With each breath, the agony pierces and twists deeper until it devours you.
Survivors of violence can attest to how difficult it truly is to keep going after an incidence with their significant other. Your life is turned upside down and becomes chaotic. Feelings betray you, or at least that’s what you deem true. You start to second guess every decision you’ve ever made including the simple ones like dinner.
A mad rush of guilt veils and losses are mourned. The loss of your partner, your lover, your best friend, your self-esteem, and your sanity. Anxiety and at times, depression take hold and can paralyze. Loneliness consumes creating this frightened and fragile person.
Life is now a charade of a fake painted on smiles and counterfeit pleasantries that drain every ounce of energy you have. By the end of the day there is no strength left to fight off the demons that now own you. So the darkness is allowed to engulf the mind and leaves you desperate to find an escape, if only for a brief period.
You don’t dare cry out for help and certainly won’t let anyone learn the truth. Human connections are irrefutably out of the question. Your too damaged. Emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically. Shame destroys any confidence as the value of your self-worth rapidly declines extinguishing any hope of recovery.
As time goes on, identity is lost as you are now defined as, “That person.”
The inevitability of seclusion becomes a life-preserver and you cling to it with relentless desperation. Solitude befriends in such weird and strange ways, yet offers no comfort or satisfaction, only thoughts of loss and despair.
It’s unknown how much time passes before the healing is acknowledged. The downward spiral is sporadic and irrational. Sometimes the screaming in your head drowns out the restoration, forbidding you to find peace. But it is there, somewhere. You must keep searching.
There are good days. You take them when the occasion allows it. At times, to your utmost surprise, genuine laughter escapes the lungs and bestows the air with the joyous sound you believed lost forever.
There are bad days. And they are just that, bad. Foolish choices will be made, baseless accusations will overflow, and unfounded self-torture will brand. These new wounds will create more scars. Try to use them as camouflage, hiding the carcasses of the demons that you battled.
Defined by an act based off someone else’s behavior is unjust and certainly not fare. Yet, there it is. However, accepting failure and giving up simply isn’t an option. Take the good with bad. Learn from it and trudge on. The choices made by others that have affected your way of life are challenging to overcome. Just remember to breathe through the pain. Eventually, everything is going to be alright.
October is National Domestic Violence Month and I apologize for this being late. The month is dedicated to educate and help those who are facing the unimaginable. If you or someone you know is a victim, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Shell de Toni 