As the untimely end of my latest decade 
approaches, I’m left with mournful feelings that nearly break ones heart. This is the last week of the first half of my life, and it saddens me to say goodbye.
Nonetheless, goodbye is necessary as I start a new chapter. With only eight years left of children at home, I’m in dire need of finding something else, besides motherhood, to identify with.
I wonder; is it proper to plan the second half of ones existence? With such a lack of life experience there wasn’t a lot of opportunity to plan the first part. Could midlife allocate such favorable circumstances to go after all that’s desired but unachievable till now? What does that actually mean?
The finality of a bucket list seems morbid and terrifying to me. I do not favor the idea of planning things to do prior to my ultimate demise. Now I supposed I could be writing, “Things to do before I die.” But that’s just not me. Nonetheless, not having goals or nothing to shoot for is far more depressing than writing about death.
As midlife approaches in just a few short days, I’ve come to realize, just like everyone else, there is so much left for me to do. Of course there’s the clichés such as eating and drinking my way through Italy, having a love affair in France, and swim in the ocean with a Great White Shark. Not-to-mention cruises, theme parks, and beaches to explore. These are just a few of the many exciting journeys I’m ready for and can’t wait to write about.
Someday I’ll be blessed with new in-laws and grandchildren as my family grows. So many new things to experience and celebrate in my future.
As I say farewell to my thirties, I open my heart to my new life and give-in to Gods good graces. I have good health, awesome children, a true-love story to write about, good friends, and the best grandmother in the world.
On Sunday evening as I lay in bed and say my prayers I will close with my favorite Shakespeare quote, “Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.”
Shell de Toni 