Its ancient history, isn’t it?
Round and round, a strike or slip
If there’s no edification from lessons
of bygone,
resolve never is fancied skillfully
The inept acquires knowledge to subsist
Trudging onward, survival of the fittest
Only the strong shall permit assessments
at intervals
By right, mediocrity submitting is naught
Reap fruits by progression
Learn from solecisms taken by predecessors
And simply, evolution ensues
It’s not possible. The odds are immensely against it and yet here I’m faced with this reality. As I sit here alone, my thoughts search for answers to no avail. How could this be?
Processing the pros and cons, I imagine lists with no rhythm or reason to hierarchy. Acknowledging such an opportunity will never occur again; not in my lifetime anyway. The letter that I hold is of no consequence considering what will be sacrificed.
One question repeats itself, “Is it worth losing everything I’ve worked so hard for?”
It’s not as if anyone in particular would shed a tear at my sudden dismissal. Hell, they’d most likely celebrate by singing, “Ding Dong the Witch is dead!” (Metaphorically speaking).
Casting myself far and away, not to be heard from for God only knows how long. They wouldn’t give my absence a second thought.
I read through the letter again fearing that I somehow misread those systematic words. But sure enough, there it is in black and white. I’d been offered a contract to teach English in Florence, Italy.
“Italy!” Saying the word out loud makes me giggle.
Room, board, personal assistant, and $86,000 a year to teach Italians how to read and write in English. Six hour days, four days a week with a $3,000 tax-free, monthly spending account.
As I sit on my bed, I hear my kids and husband scuttle about. “Mom! Can you please help with my term paper? I’m stuck on creating a thesis statement that’ll engage and be interesting.”
I began to cry inside as life’s cruelty impales shards of reality through my troubled heart. The moral dilemma I’m up against crushes my spirit. Yet, passing up an opportunity such as this could very well break me.
My hands tremble. The smile that once graced this face no longer exists. My calling, burdens that await, binds me like a slave. It’s my opposition; Kids, housework, meals, the never-ending mountain of laundry that doesn’t seem to ever dissipate, so on and so forth.
Parenting is a job that is equally thankless as it is rewarding. That is, until the buggers are grown and you reap the detriments of the degrading work. Happiness will once again beseech me when they have babies who will one day torture them just as bad if not worse, or so I’m told.
Tough decisions indeed. However, the answer was written long before there was ever a question. Tiny hands, beautiful smiles, laughter, color, song, and so many wondrous experiences gives me purpose.
My missing smile returns as the girls come and sit with me. “Why are you sitting here alone mom?”
“Yah, what ya doing? Shouldn’t be all by yourself when you have us for loves.”
Folding up the letter, I say nothing about it. Nor will I. “Just going through the mail. Junk as usual. After we started on homework, you girls want me to make popcorn so we can watch a movie?”
In unison they both exclaimed, “Yeah!”
I regret nothing.
REACHING FOR THE STARS
Three Meridian Student Are Ready to Take on the Future
By Michelle Ochsner
From kindergarten to high school, Meridian students use this time to develop specific life skills that will set them apart from the conventional. They incorporate personal aptitudes to stand out beyond the norm, becoming something extraordinary and special as dreams become their reality. Intermittently, a child in a state of amazement excels beyond mediocrity and overcomes today’s lifestyle, social, and economic challenges. These three students are such people.
Izabella Toney is many things; boring is not one of them. This energetic fifth-grader has attended Ustick Elementary since second grade and imposes a lasting impression on anyone who meets her.
At the top of her class, Izabella has invariably had a sense of direction. With her mother’s help, she’s writing her first young adult novel and is an aspiring artist with a particular interest in animals. Since memory serves, she has decided to be a Marine Biologist dedicating her life to working with sharks and saving marine habitats. “I’ve always loved animals, especially sea creatures. Someday I’d like to go to Scripps College in San Diego and maybe study and take pictures of sharks. But Zoology is interesting too. I plan to volunteer at Zoo Boise and the Boise Aquarium when I’m old enough.”
With added responsibility at school, Izabella assists the resource room aiding first graders with reading, is a volunteer assistant in the school office, and helps special needs students with class activities. On her personal time, she’s been committed to raising money for the American Heart Association. It’s no surprise that she received an Integrity Award from the teacher, Mrs. Lewis. “She puts others before herself and is always there for them. Izabella makes good choices regardless of the situation.”
Brooke Danae, a beautiful brown-eyed girl whose ambition is larger than life. A sixth-grader at Lewis and Clark, she has surmounted what could have been a debilitating learning disability. Classified as an inefficient learner due to memory inadequacies, she has more than proved otherwise.
Extremely organized, she’s an accomplished perfectionist which has set her above educational standards. With no special treatment from educators, Brooke has taught herself how to process information with an intense motivation to always do better as she plays with ideas. She has a unique ability to adapt. Once Brooke sets a goal, there isn’t anything she’s not able to succeed in doing. “I don’t like anyone thing to be disorganized. Schoolwork, orchestra, or helping at home; it has to be done right.”
Always seeking opportunities to learn, Brooke’s intellectual curiosity to acquire and understand facts is proof that a strong will and determination can carry out the impossible. With a 3.0 average, she has received praise from educators not only for her grades but her compassion for others as well. Her parents, Fred & Shell, are exceedingly proud of her. “She is an astonishing and brave soul. Brooke is the type of person who will reach out to the person who has no one to sit with at lunch to make sure they are alright. She comforts those who are bullied and is a genuine friend.”
She actively participates in raising money for charities such as the American Cancer Society, the American Heart Association, and the Susan Komen Foundation. In August 2011, Brooke received the Youth of the Summer Award at a summer camp for assisting counselors with various responsibilities such as organizing activities and cleaning the grounds.
With a clever smile Brooke gives the impression of perhaps one day working as a designer; either in fashion or interior styling. “I haven’t chosen a career yet because I’m still exploring my strengths and concentrating on my current classes. I love fashion and I’m good at decorating.”
Six-footer Hanah Christensen makes school look easy. A natural leader, this eleventh grader is in pursuit of opportunity with a purpose. Her academic success is a result of good morals, intense work ethic, and uncompromising ambition. At seventeen, Hanah’s positive influence on others is to lead by example. An impressive listener, she volunteers to help and support those who are coping with personal crises. “My true passion is definitely helping people.”
Hanah’s earned several scholastic awards including the Presidential Academic Award from President George Bush, and she’s been an honor roll student since middle school. “I’m really proud of this because no matter how hard or stressful things get, I still give school my all. I know that it’s important to keep up and one day all my hard work will pay off.”
An astute writer, Hanah’s given additional projects and tasks from her Graphics Art Teacher, Ms. Frei, and English teacher, Mr. Edwards, that encourage Hanah to be more productive and become a better writer. Excelling in English and Math, she aspires to major in English. “Perhaps one day I’ll become a teacher.”
Independent as she is smart, Hanah enjoys her current part-time job working as a Hostess at Johnny Carinos. “My mom, Tesa, has also made me the independent person I am today. She’s given me responsibilities, such as paying for my car, gas, and such that have helped me become self-sufficient. It’s taught me to work for what I want.”
Imagine looking at a blank page knowing there should be some form of expression gracing that empty mass, instead your left feeling inadequate. Sitting there glaring at that vacant space you begin to doubt yourself as you think, “So this is it then. I have officially reached the end of my ingenuity.” And then, hopelessly you put down your medium and sigh in defeat as the void shrouds your sanity.
Frustration grabs hold as colossal amounts of information swarm your psyche while urgently attempting to breach the prison your mind has become. The cursor just blinks, over and over driving you to the brink of madness. All the more, it’s stifling the creativeness you posses as the void becomes the death of all that was once obtainable.
Contemplating the end of a brilliant career when suddenly reality hits you like a ton of bricks; it’s not a lack of creativity on your part that besieges you in nothingness. Lucidity reveals a much simpler answer, the funnel has become clogged with too many words trying to escape all at the same time.
New hope emerges as you tackle this newfound dilemma. Music fills the air with a welcome distraction, curtains are swung open allowing the brilliant sunshine to encase you in its warmth, and a piece of dark chocolate lingers on your palate bringing you great joy as you let go of your pessimistic attitude.
You once again let your fingers to glide over the keypad. Subsequently sweet victory liberates your very essence as beautiful sentences come into view right before your very eyes. Words, words, and more words appear on the screen, leaving not one moment for that cursor to irritably blink at you.
Pleased with the progress made as the day comes to its untimely end, you stretch while slowly getting up. Sometimes, we creative types need to stop and take a break when overwhelmed. You will accomplish nothing when you’re riddled with anxiety and frustration.
So next time the writer’s block has you ready to burn your desk to the ground, just unplug for a bit and do whatever it is that you do to relax and unwind.
Shell de Toni 